Truth and Lies about Filipinas dating Foreigners!

By Kach Umandap - Howe January 8th, 2015 Posted in Inspiration and Love Stories, Travel Blog 533 Comments

Filipinas dating foreigners – The Real Life Experiences and Criticisms of a Filipina dating a Westerner

no not from a farmer
No, Jonathan didn’t buy me from a farmer!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is also for all the Filipinas dating Foreigners instead of our Filipino men and being judged for it!

Here are the most common misconceptions that I want to clear up – We would love to hear other Filipinas’ stories so please feel free to share your experiences below!

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” ― Earl Nightingale

When I quit my job in the Middle East to start my backpacking journey, aside from the other reasons and lies I was telling myself and people around me about why I wanted to leave my corporate life, I actually left because I just wanted to have more time to understand myself, to love me and just to be with myself!

Unexpectedly, during a few days exploring Luang Prabang, Laos, I met Jonathan! If you’re traveling on your own, you’ll meet a lot of travelers – mostly European, and being a backpacker you shouldn’t expect another backpacker to take you to an expensive restaurant –  oh and he’s British btw. After a few months of just keeping in touch on facebook while I continued my solo backpacking, Jon and I decided to be officially together, and we’re now together for almost two years! I’m not lucky cuz I’m with a white man – we are BOTH lucky to have each other cuz we deserve the best!

Related Article: Are you planning to travel solo? Check out our DIY Travel Guides here and for cheap hostels around the world, check the list here.)

Note: This is based on my personal experience and life story. I’m not generalizing, and if you can relate then awesome, if not, I didn’t intend to offend any of you.

1. I’m dating a Foreigner because I need a Visa or his British passport.

Yes, there are perhaps some Filipinas dating foreigners who have this reason but not in most cases! I was already travelling on my own long before I met Jonathan (well, I met Jonathan while travelling!). Jonathan and I are both long-term travellers and us living and settling down in the UK couldn’t be further from our minds. We both want to buy land to build our very own yoga resort in the Philippines. In fact, Jon keeps asking me about how he can get a permanent resident’s visa in the Philippines. So maybe it’s actually foreign men who need the visa, not the Filipinas!

We Filipinas can also travel to any country in the world with our  Philippines passport so why would we need them if we can already get things on our own!? Ok, so they have more ‘free countries’ than us, but it balances out, because when they pay, they pay big! Also, if you travel in mostly Asian countries, having a Filipino passport has way more advantage than his, he has to pay more than me! UPDATE: We’re engaged and getting married next year! I will be getting a Long-term visa to visit UK but I’m not interested in getting a British passport or citizenship as what others are assuming because we don’t have any plans to live in the UK, as long as my future children will have dual citizenship then that’s great for us!

Even though some Filipinas might need their foreign partner’s visa or passport, it’s their life choice. Why do you care?

2. I’m dating a foreigner because I need his money.

After completing my economics degree (in UPLB), I worked in the Middle East for four years before starting this journey. I funded my South East Asia backpacking trip with my savings then when Jon and I started living together, we always shared our expenses, from food, rent and everything (that’s the British way, in Tagalog “Kanya kanyang bayad!”).

Yep, unfortunately…wait for it…white people don’t actually shit money! Trust me, I’ve checked! When I met Jon, he had empty pockets and a $300 broken down motorbike. If I was looking for a sugar daddy, I must have been blinded by that magic white skin again!

When we decided to pursue our around-the-world backpacking journey together, we both worked hard to build our initial funds! I even had five freelance jobs at the same time in Hanoi, Vietnam as we wanted to save more than ever! I taught English, yoga classes to children and even handled the Marketing Department of a western-owned company while in Vietnam, oh did I mention that I won a Vietnamese reality TV show?

He works, I work. He saves, I save. Equal partnership!

3. I’m only successful because of my foreigner partner.

No matter what success we experience, people might still think it’s because the Magic white man got us here. I want to be modest here, but straight to the point. Do you really think we Filipinas can’t be successful without the help of any man or even a foreigner? Do you realize that you’re actually insulting yourself?! Well, if you think so, shame on you!

This website was started by me, Jon wasn’t really into it, but with a little persuasion, he joined in and started writing too. Now people like his writing and that’s great! We both became yoga teachers and Ayurveda massage therapists because of my crazy idea of supporting our long term travels. All of my teaching, volunteering and freelancing jobs have been through my own research, resourcefulness, and commitment. So don’t tell me that we Filipinas dating foreigners just stay at home, waiting for our partners to feed us!

Even if someone does decide to remain at home to look after the family and home, that’s a personal choice which also involves a lot of hard work.

4. If he marries me, he will marry and support my whole family.

Well, hello! Again, it may happen in some cases, but before marrying their Filipina wife, the foreigner must already have met the family, right? So it was their choice if you still want to marry despite the condition! Unless they slipped it in the wedding vows without him noticing, ‘…to have and to hold, to pay Lola’s medical bills…wait, WHAT THE F#%!$?!’ Unlikely…

We don’t all fit the stereotype, sorry. My parents are both Professional; my younger sister is also a Dentist while my younger brother is about to finish his University degree. We are not rich, but my family lives comfortably, and we were brought up to be independent. Meaning, if you want to do something, you work for it, and you shouldn’t depend on anyone else to just give it to you!

5.  The foreigner is dating me because he needs a slave.

Aha, so being warm and hospitable and loving towards your partner means that you’re a slave? Oh, that’s great! I wonder if these people ever stop to consider that these feelings and actions are returned by the man. British and most other westerners are raised to be very independent. Most of them leave home at the age of 18 and up until then they do household chores; guys and girls! We share the cleaning in our house, but funnily Jon is better and faster at it than I am! Young western kids often have jobs when they are growing up, not because the family is poor, but to earn some of their own money and to get some real-life experience and responsibility before leaving school. Jon even leaves the Do Not Disturb sign on the hotel room door because ‘it feels weird having someone come and clean up after me!’

6. If you’re white, then you’re rich!

Huh! Not all white people are rich; this is a hangover of the American occupation. We’ve had complete independence since 1946 people, get the grip! Western countries have a range of incomes and living standards just like we do. If everyone was rich, who would clean the streets, or do menial tasks that no one else wants to do? Ahh western-style economics, making sure we always have someone poor enough to sweep the streets!

The only real difference is the higher value of their currency in the world, which just makes their own countries very expensive to live in and other countries cheaper to visit! But this only works if they earn money in one of the expensive countries.  It’s the same logic anywhere. And yes, poverty does exist in western countries, it just doesn’t the same impact in a news headline as a photo of a small brown child with flies on her face!

7. Only desperate Filipinas are dating Foreigners!

I’ve dated Filipinos before and was even in a long-term relationship with one!  It’s pretty annoying when people say that “if you can’t find a good Filipino then just look for a foreign man.”  This is also stupid; there are plenty of amazing, loving and faithful Filipino men all over the world. There are good and bad in every country; nationality has very little to do with it!

Again, maybe some Filipinas marry out of desperation, but this could happen in any country, not just in the Philippines.

On the other hand, if you told me that I was only with a  foreigner for his genes, then I might be inclined to agree. I would love our children to have Jon’s blonde hair and blue eyes, with slightly tanned Filipino skin…That might look a bit weird, to be honest, but we’ll let you know when we have some proof! We all know that most of the stars in the Philippines are half and half, perhaps we can make the next Anne Curtis, Sam Milby, and Alden Richards.

Well, I don’t know your reasons why you’re dating your foreign man, I’m dating this foreigner because I love him! Cheers to all Independent Women out there! 


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533 thoughts on “Truth and Lies about Filipinas dating Foreigners!

  1. I dated foreigners not because of those misconceptions but because im fascinated with their culture and religion..i have dated an arab,kenyan and somali..all black as they say once u go black u never go back!hahahhahaa

  2. Good article you have here. I totally get you. I’m dating a foreigner. I met my him in the Philippines. We met in a funny kind of way. Some say its luck, some say its destiny, I say its love 🙂 I am a preschool teacher and a ballet teacher for children. He worked as a volunteer in Philippine Red Cross and a student in Arnis for 6 months then went back to Denmark. After 4 months of LDR (thanks to skype and viber! :)) i went to visit him and his family but for a few days only because i have a regular job in Pinas. When i got back, we planned of ways on how to be together. After 10 months LDR again and uncertainties, hard work paid off. I got my residency and work permit as an intern approved. Now im here in Denmark to learn new things and more about my passion, teaching dance and children and to be with the man that i love. We both worked hard for where we are right now and we are happy and so inlove. Some people are just narrow minded and couldnt just be happy for other people. Oh its their problem anyway. I am lucky not because of his money but because i have a sweet, loving, patient, intellegent and amazing partner. Aaaaand youre right, the genes. C’mon! Who doesnt want a cute and adorable baby? :p

    1. It’s amazing! I would like to ask if it was so easy to get a visa going to denmark? cos im planning to get one this year to visit my partner, Im just scared if i wont get approved.

  3. I like this article,not all filipina who marry a foreigner are only upto for a visa or money, I am a backpacker also in Philippines and i pay my own travel as well and i save money for it. I worked in a publishing company when i was in Philippines but now i am married in a European man and live here in Spain in fact i am starting to get bored because i want to work here and i always tell my husband that i want to earn money on my own. Most filipino think that when someone married with a foreigner they think only one either you want money from that man or you just want to have a residency visa. and with regards to the “foreigner genes” i am agree too! haha who wouldn’t want to have a child with a stunning eyes, blond hair with filipino color? sabi nga nila magada ang pinoy pag nalahian ng ibang lahi..hahaha.. Well good job girl! great article indeed! hope to bump you here oneday in Andalucia,Spain! 🙂

      1. Exactly, I’m with you, Mark.

        I want to share this true story below from a friend of mine, whose stupid husband been hooked by a Filipino chic. Here is a copy from my friend’s Facebook wall.

        I got this posting on the wall of a friend of mine.

        Filipina single mom want western, American guy or American citizen.
        Write or call me (Abigail R Flores, mailing address: #101 Tanqui Lubong, City of San Fernando La Union Philippines 2500.
        Phone number: +639398249630).
        I am also 24/7 on my Facebook (nick Chary Hope or Abigail Flores).
        Get my photos or webcam on contact.

        My friend is a computer technician. I asked her about the story. She said her friend’s husband did have an online chat with this chicks. That idiot is married, has an amazing wife and good & fun marriage, but he still did stupid things like flirting and playing around with the chicks. That chic trying to say to the foolish guy sugar coated words just to get money and possibly American citizenship. The guy sent her money, and trying to hide his wife. Then his wife found out these craps. The guy is doing pastoral job and ministries together with his wife. I’m pretty sure this guy gonna lose his face and the good woman he has ever had. The most foolish thing is to trade the marriage for a garbage relation and give money to those hookers.

        I bet any of you get in a chat or contact with that chic, you’ll see better why Filipina girls & women try to hook white guys.

  4. oh I feel you honey. I went through all of the above mentioned. I met my American husband when I was doing my masters in Germany. He was an enlisted soldier in the Army and was stationed in Germany. When we got to the Philippines, everyone be like staring at us and we don’t get stared at in Europe! I don’t look at my husband as “white” or a “foreigner”, instead I see him as my husband – the love of my life.

    1. Oh you’re a good looking couple!!! Wow!!! =) Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!x Actually, when are we are abroad – we are both Foreigners! haha

    2. Am Kano, white and old. Have had several Asian ethnicity gf’s , and a wife, over the years. One phenomea I have observed many times is the reaction, in public places, by middle aged American women, to seeing an older white man with a beautiful Asian woman, probably a lot younger. Hate is an understatement.

      1. Yep. Bad as some of my experiences with Thai or Filipino or other Asian I still would NEVER go back to dating American women. Horrible.

        They do lose their shit seeing a happy guy with a foreign lady and even more so if there is an age difference.

        You can feel the hate seething off of them. LOL

  5. oh I feel you honey. I went through all of the above mentioned. I met my American husband when I was doing my masters in Germany. He was an enlisted soldier in the Army and was stationed in Germany. When we got to the Philippines, everyone be like staring at us and we don’t get stared at in Europe! I don’t look at my husband as “white” or a “foreigner”, instead I see him as my husband – the love of my life.

  6. oh I feel you honey. I went through all of the above mentioned. I met my American husband when I was doing my masters in Germany. He was an enlisted soldier in the Army and was stationed in Germany. When we got to the Philippines, everyone be like staring at us and we don’t get stared at in Europe!! oh well Pinoys

  7. I could not agree more, Ms. Kach. I have worked hard also in earning an Engineering degree in UP and is now very stable in a consulting position for a Japanese firm. I love my man so much. I love everything about him. It really just happens that he is white and a native of Florida. I am uncomfortable when he would offer to help me financially on something because I do not want the relationship to be parasitic. I love him for he is and not because of his net worth. I LOVE YOU CHRISTOPHER. I know you are still sleeping right now 😉

  8. Good article!.im in a 2 years relationship now with my american guy. He just added me on facebook 4 years ago, with a messaged that he wants to be friend with me. On our 2 years relationship as friend and 2 years as bf/gf, he always told me how much he really admire and love me most everyday coz he never heard me ask or complain on him about financial issues. Ive been working here in europe for 4years, and i travelled so much around europe as my treat for myself, while he is busy with his life in the USA too. But we just always find time for ourselves and talk about our personal plans and our plans to settle soon.

  9. Oh my God…that was a fine article Kach. Very well said. I met my first boyfriend and then became my husband when i was studying in UK. I was 18 and now looking back i didn’t think for a fact i was marrying him for his money. He’s Greek-Cypriot BTW. We start dating and then i went to the US for my Masters and after six years i agreed to marry him…i’ve worked hard to pursue my pursue my goals in life and so has he. I’ve never even asked for a single dollar from him…and now after 16 years were still together

  10. Great article! I can so relate! I married my hubby because I like his last name .. joke! Haha! When my mother in law found out her son was dating a Filipina she really showed her disapproval because of the bad rep Pinays have but now that we have met .. I thinks she loves me more than her own son .. Lol! I have been a working girl for years and I do hate it when people find out I was dating a foreigner they would always say .. Wow lucky! I just smile and ignore .. Excuse me .. HE is LuckY! Haha! I cant forget those giving free trial for the straightening iron in Watsons and the lady said she was bored even if Im wasnt buying the product she would like to just do my hair .. I was waiting for hubby (then BF) while he was looking around so I just messaged him where I was and where to go after he is done to meet up. When hair lady saw him .. She said ” He is ur bf mam?” Pabili ka na! i just gave her a weird look! Truthfully, I didnt even know my hubby had a bit of money saved up until we got married coz I never really asked money from him. He pays for dates and gives me gifts on special occasions but thats it. Now I get money coz I am a housewife (no yaya in Australia) so I need to take care of our baby but when you think about it .. The amount of work being a housewife is more than my corporate job and technically .. I don’t really get paid… The money is for our groceries and household expenses!

    1. Hi Treena!! I agree with you, actually on my first 2 months with Jon in Vietnam he was the one working and I was doing all the household chores and he has to give me money to buy our food and other expenses but it doesnt go to my pocket! I love your story, do you write? I would love to do a follow up article on this and about living abroad.. you might want to write and i can publish you!! Here’s my email – kach@twomonkeystravelgroup.com

      1. Yes I used to write a little bit .. Im in the Philippines now so its a bit busy but would drop u an email one of these days 🙂

  11. my boyfriends British, we’ve been dating for almost 2years. it is both funny and irritating that everyone at work tells me that “im very lucky” and that “i have used my head” for dating a white guy. even when we go out strolling i’ve encountered men staring (in a negative way)at me sharply (even filipinos) like it is a crime just by walking with him. and to top it off he happens to be 12years older than me while im petite and looked younger than my real age at first glance. oh man if only looks could kill! lol! even with some of my acquaintance (not friends) knowing that i’m a single mom dating a white guy…really you can feel the judgement. but we both know what we have together, we cherish our time together and since we’re both busy with work, people’s stares and judgement doesnt really affect us. and no i have never asked him for money or visa. he buys me flowers of course, it’s not right that i have to pay him back for that, lol! i have always been independent always worked for my keep, single mom and not a cent from the ex, i’ve always survived on my own,i don’t need a man -white, black, brown, yellow, or pink to feed me, clothe me, etc… life is already hard as it is, don’t let other people’s opinion affect you, let them think whatever they like at the end of the day it’s about what or who makes you happy that really matters.

  12. Agree!! I just got married to my Norwegian husband. We’re pretty young say 27 & 28 and ang daming magugulat pa na bakit di matanda asawa ko! Seryoso? Kanun na ba talaga ka talangka ang utak ng mga tao dito sa pinas? I met my hubby through fan based blog site. I blog occasionally to strip of the stress from work. I’m an accountant and he’s well studying yet when we became friends. Like you po, I live independently on my own. I have my own savings and investment while I was single..my siblings are professional…my parents are both too.. At akala ng iba mahirap lang mag aasawa ng foreigner tapos Pag puti akala nila ATM machine!!
    ! Kanyan kanya kami ng asawa ko….he’s studying, im working..if not for currency diff i earn more than him..we share and work hard together for everything. We got married because we love each other and wanna spend our lives growing old together and be Gaming buddies forever… Can’t people here get that?

    Maraming slamat sa blog mung ito.. 😀
    I’ll be reading your updates…. 😉

    1. I’m very happy for you. I’m currently dating a norwegian man too. You give me hope that norwegians are also interested in getting married. =) All the best Kea!

  13. Very well said. I like this article. I Hopefully I will meet a foreign husband in the future. It’s not about the money or anything but it is what I want and my choice. Thanks Kack of two monkeys for writing and sharing this one. God bless..

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Written by Kach Umandap - Howe

Co-Founder of Two Monkeys Travel Group. Since 2013, Kach has visited all the 7 continents (including Antarctica) and 136 countries using her Philippines Passport. In 2016, she got married then a year later bought a sailboat and went on sailing adventures with her two cats - Captain Ahab & Little Zissou in the Caribbean for 2 years. She now lives in Herceg Novi, Montenegro. She writes about her experiences traveling as a Filipina traveler with a PHL Passport. Also tips on backpacking trips, luxury hotel experiences, product reviews, sailing & adventure travel.

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