Truth and Lies about Filipinas dating Foreigners!

By Kach Umandap - Howe January 8th, 2015 Posted in Inspiration and Love Stories, Travel Blog 544 Comments

Filipinas dating foreigners – The Real Life Experiences and Criticisms of a Filipina dating a Westerner

no not from a farmer
No, Jonathan didn’t buy me from a farmer!












This is also for all the Filipinas dating Foreigners instead of our Filipino men and being judged for it!

Here are the most common misconceptions that I want to clear up – We would love to hear other Filipinas’ stories so please feel free to share your experiences below!

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” ― Earl Nightingale

When I quit my job in the Middle East to start my backpacking journey, aside from the other reasons and lies I was telling myself and people around me about why I wanted to leave my corporate life, I actually left because I just wanted to have more time to understand myself, to love me and just to be with myself!

Unexpectedly, during a few days exploring Luang Prabang, Laos, I met Jonathan! If you’re traveling on your own, you’ll meet a lot of travelers – mostly European, and being a backpacker you shouldn’t expect another backpacker to take you to an expensive restaurant –  oh and he’s British btw. After a few months of just keeping in touch on facebook while I continued my solo backpacking, Jon and I decided to be officially together, and we’re now together for almost two years! I’m not lucky cuz I’m with a white man – we are BOTH lucky to have each other cuz we deserve the best!

Related Article: Are you planning to travel solo? Check out our DIY Travel Guides here and for cheap hostels around the world, check the list here.)

Note: This is based on my personal experience and life story. I’m not generalizing, and if you can relate then awesome, if not, I didn’t intend to offend any of you.

1. I’m dating a Foreigner because I need a Visa or his British passport.

Yes, there are perhaps some Filipinas dating foreigners who have this reason but not in most cases! I was already travelling on my own long before I met Jonathan (well, I met Jonathan while travelling!). Jonathan and I are both long-term travellers and us living and settling down in the UK couldn’t be further from our minds. We both want to buy land to build our very own yoga resort in the Philippines. In fact, Jon keeps asking me about how he can get a permanent resident’s visa in the Philippines. So maybe it’s actually foreign men who need the visa, not the Filipinas!

We Filipinas can also travel to any country in the world with our  Philippines passport so why would we need them if we can already get things on our own!? Ok, so they have more ‘free countries’ than us, but it balances out, because when they pay, they pay big! Also, if you travel in mostly Asian countries, having a Filipino passport has way more advantage than his, he has to pay more than me! UPDATE: We’re engaged and getting married next year! I will be getting a Long-term visa to visit UK but I’m not interested in getting a British passport or citizenship as what others are assuming because we don’t have any plans to live in the UK, as long as my future children will have dual citizenship then that’s great for us!

Even though some Filipinas might need their foreign partner’s visa or passport, it’s their life choice. Why do you care?

2. I’m dating a foreigner because I need his money.

After completing my economics degree (in UPLB), I worked in the Middle East for four years before starting this journey. I funded my South East Asia backpacking trip with my savings then when Jon and I started living together, we always shared our expenses, from food, rent and everything (that’s the British way, in Tagalog “Kanya kanyang bayad!”).

Yep, unfortunately…wait for it…white people don’t actually shit money! Trust me, I’ve checked! When I met Jon, he had empty pockets and a $300 broken down motorbike. If I was looking for a sugar daddy, I must have been blinded by that magic white skin again!

When we decided to pursue our around-the-world backpacking journey together, we both worked hard to build our initial funds! I even had five freelance jobs at the same time in Hanoi, Vietnam as we wanted to save more than ever! I taught English, yoga classes to children and even handled the Marketing Department of a western-owned company while in Vietnam, oh did I mention that I won a Vietnamese reality TV show?

He works, I work. He saves, I save. Equal partnership!

3. I’m only successful because of my foreigner partner.

No matter what success we experience, people might still think it’s because the Magic white man got us here. I want to be modest here, but straight to the point. Do you really think we Filipinas can’t be successful without the help of any man or even a foreigner? Do you realize that you’re actually insulting yourself?! Well, if you think so, shame on you!

This website was started by me, Jon wasn’t really into it, but with a little persuasion, he joined in and started writing too. Now people like his writing and that’s great! We both became yoga teachers and Ayurveda massage therapists because of my crazy idea of supporting our long term travels. All of my teaching, volunteering and freelancing jobs have been through my own research, resourcefulness, and commitment. So don’t tell me that we Filipinas dating foreigners just stay at home, waiting for our partners to feed us!

Even if someone does decide to remain at home to look after the family and home, that’s a personal choice which also involves a lot of hard work.

4. If he marries me, he will marry and support my whole family.

Well, hello! Again, it may happen in some cases, but before marrying their Filipina wife, the foreigner must already have met the family, right? So it was their choice if you still want to marry despite the condition! Unless they slipped it in the wedding vows without him noticing, ‘…to have and to hold, to pay Lola’s medical bills…wait, WHAT THE F#%!$?!’ Unlikely…

We don’t all fit the stereotype, sorry. My parents are both Professional; my younger sister is also a Dentist while my younger brother is about to finish his University degree. We are not rich, but my family lives comfortably, and we were brought up to be independent. Meaning, if you want to do something, you work for it, and you shouldn’t depend on anyone else to just give it to you!

5.  The foreigner is dating me because he needs a slave.

Aha, so being warm and hospitable and loving towards your partner means that you’re a slave? Oh, that’s great! I wonder if these people ever stop to consider that these feelings and actions are returned by the man. British and most other westerners are raised to be very independent. Most of them leave home at the age of 18 and up until then they do household chores; guys and girls! We share the cleaning in our house, but funnily Jon is better and faster at it than I am! Young western kids often have jobs when they are growing up, not because the family is poor, but to earn some of their own money and to get some real-life experience and responsibility before leaving school. Jon even leaves the Do Not Disturb sign on the hotel room door because ‘it feels weird having someone come and clean up after me!’

6. If you’re white, then you’re rich!

Huh! Not all white people are rich; this is a hangover of the American occupation. We’ve had complete independence since 1946 people, get the grip! Western countries have a range of incomes and living standards just like we do. If everyone was rich, who would clean the streets, or do menial tasks that no one else wants to do? Ahh western-style economics, making sure we always have someone poor enough to sweep the streets!

The only real difference is the higher value of their currency in the world, which just makes their own countries very expensive to live in and other countries cheaper to visit! But this only works if they earn money in one of the expensive countries.  It’s the same logic anywhere. And yes, poverty does exist in western countries, it just doesn’t the same impact in a news headline as a photo of a small brown child with flies on her face!

7. Only desperate Filipinas are dating Foreigners!

I’ve dated Filipinos before and was even in a long-term relationship with one!  It’s pretty annoying when people say that “if you can’t find a good Filipino then just look for a foreign man.”  This is also stupid; there are plenty of amazing, loving and faithful Filipino men all over the world. There are good and bad in every country; nationality has very little to do with it!

Again, maybe some Filipinas marry out of desperation, but this could happen in any country, not just in the Philippines.

On the other hand, if you told me that I was only with a  foreigner for his genes, then I might be inclined to agree. I would love our children to have Jon’s blonde hair and blue eyes, with slightly tanned Filipino skin…That might look a bit weird, to be honest, but we’ll let you know when we have some proof! We all know that most of the stars in the Philippines are half and half, perhaps we can make the next Anne Curtis, Sam Milby, and Alden Richards.

Well, I don’t know your reasons why you’re dating your foreign man, I’m dating this foreigner because I love him! Cheers to all Independent Women out there! 


Monkey DividersAre you on Pinterest? Pin these!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

544 thoughts on “Truth and Lies about Filipinas dating Foreigners!

  1. I meet a Filipino woman She has a house but shares with her children which are grown She wants to get married and have our own place and still help out her children I having a hard time with this Her kids should have there own place by now Do you have any advice

  2. Actually most Filipinas are not doing that well and money is the chief motivation to pursuing a relationship with a foreigner unless you choose to willingly play that down as not being that prevalent. Most not all, but most can’t wait to leave their country and are more than willing to settle anywhere else. There’s a reason why millions of them are on every dating site imaginable and I personally know quite a few of them. So I understand your patriotism but you should also be honest about your portrayal of the typical Filipina coz you’re way off from reality.

  3. The Filipina wife is not the issue – she will stand by her man and do all she can to solve problems. The area the Westerner MUST check is the family, its attitude and its size. (And age, see medical bills below)

    Filipino kids are brought up to feel guilt (incredible guilt, really) if they are not taking care of their parents in particular and this care risks very quickly changing from the child (your wife) visiting with food to the Western husband being told to send money – and lots of it.

    This will become a conflict area in 99.9 % of marriages. The parents will never love you (understandably as you more often than not will take their child to the West) but they will love your money and work the wife like nuts to feel guilty about not sending enough. I bought the family a new taxi car, renovated the house and sent designer clothes by ship….then found out they had pressured my wife so much she was stealing money from my bank account and sending it there.

    We nearly broke up over this of course. The parents did not give a damn, they still maintained it was right I took care of them and that she ‘borrowed’ money from my accounts behind my back.

    If the parents are old take into account probable medical bills and a total insistence you will pay – the bills are ridiculous due to every test possible being taken (of course). Everything has a ‘fee’ in the P.Pines.

    Filipina girls are lovely and have a great set of morals but they are IMPOSSIBLE to talk with on this subject and you will be given a week’s silent treatment if you ever criticise the amounts going home to Mum and Dad (minimum). Go too far and she will choose a life in poverty with them over you. They call it noble, I call it awful and selfish parenting.

    If I had known how bad it would be I would not have married, I have to say.

    Sorry my post reads negatively – I have said nice things too – but I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to clear the above area as best you can before marrying.

    You may well think your wife would never take money from your account or demand you pay bills and send gifts to Mum and Dad.

    She will. All you can and should do it talk it through and get some hard agreements in place before it all unfolds and gets out of hand.

  4. Lovely site, I think I have something to say about this subject which is the Filipina+Foreigner relationship.
    I will go straight forward. In May 2017 I went to the Philippines to visit my Filipina chatmate after around one year of communication exchanging thought. When we met at the airport, it was like Love was waiting for us. We fell in love crazy and it was a paradise for us. After a while, we started to quarrel due to different ways of thinking regarding matters of life. Of course its a long story, but although we had our differences this blazing flame kept on glowing in our hearts. The relationship was on and off until we finally separated in Jan. 2018. we both decided to move on wishing all the best for each other. However, despite we were living apart this flame never got extinguished. In fact, I had a business meeting in manila on Dec. 2019. While over there, I thought of sending her a greeting message as a friend. To my surprise, she left her work and never looked back and wanted to greet me in person. Her employer warned her that she might either lose her job, cut off her salary and make her pay a penalty. Although she was relying on her modest salary to make a living, she turned her back and said I don’t care. She travelled 5 hours on the bus after agreeing to meet at Glorietta2 main gate. She arrived and waited for me for one hour due to heavy traffic jam in Makati. But, when we met we realized that we have a true love relationship never based on convenience or getting a visa or such. It was pure love after one year of separation. Now we are together for good knowing that we belong to each other regardless of any benefits. Finally, myself and my GF Yulanda we believe we have a long love story worth for a romantic Holywood movie, and I wouldnt exchange her for any woman in the world. In fact, I wish all foreigners who are after a filipina get lucky and find one like her as I did. Thats my opinion about good filipinas. Tony

    1. I mst one on eris she is in davo city. We recently started dating but on jan 16th shebasked if i could help her eith a dslr camera she said she was at her parents for a funeral.i said i could not she felt i was going to judge her . the second timr she asked fornhelp was for a phils passport to hong kong for a job. She said she didnt have the funds because she gave her fakily koney for farm. She started ignoring and now missed her opportunity to go back home jan 30th for her moms bday. She said she loves me but now the cinversation just falls flat for hours. Befor though we were talking alot all day

  5. I been married to an Arab man from Jordan for almost tree years now and before he come here in Philippines I have already my own home but he never knew about it when he knew me through online dating, less than 1month he wanted to marry me and live together here in Philippines also he put up business here in my own hometown town for our good future, so far our business I considered it as a successful because we help each other, respect, and understand each other . I am blessed because my family supporting us whatever our plan is, my parents never bother us about money because both our parents have there own businesses he is a Muslim and I am a Christian but we never fight because of religion I respect HIM and HE respect ME, and if we have family gathering if one of my relative taking advantage on him I immediately talk to them that what they are doing to my husband is not good I will never to tollirate it and its not about greedy I just don’t want that they will USED to it because he is foriegner, I don’t care if I hurt them feelings because I believe that I am doing this for the good of EVERYONE especialy I AM FILINA with principle and life and dignity.

    1. Hi I am new to this meeting people online like facebook whatsapp and there are many more. I was told there was a dating site called Scout.
      I thought it would not hurt to check it out. As a resullt I started up a conversation with a women from the phillipines on the site.
      We have been chatting now for about over 3 mths. The conversation came up about vacation. I said to her that I have never did any traveling before and was considering to this year.
      She mentioned I should vacation in the phillipines and that we could visit the many island and beaches.
      We seem to be on the same page as our views and values. I just turned 61 my wife here in Canada passed away almost 1 year ago and I am wanting to meet someone for companionship and she is looking for the same. She has said she is looking for a relationship with the right person. She is 54 and I she was married and it did not work out I did not endulge her much on the reasons or why.
      We have shared pic and videos back and forth and she seems to be very transparent and sincere. She sugested that we could spend some time together in Thialand and then visit a few of the islands in the Phillipines with some of her family. We seem to many of the same values and she it looking for a relationship and to find someone to share life and grow older together. I am starting to have feelings towards her and I think she is feeling the same.
      The only real concern I have is it is said go by your gut feeling I mine is saying go. She has share some of her personal information with me not at my request. Like her TCN card from the Phillipines which I think I like our SIN card here in Canada. Also she shared her passport info by sending pictures of as maybe she was trying to show me she is sincere. I am green when it come to travel and would appreciate some imput into if anyone has and sugestions or comments would be appreciated.

  6. Wonderful article! As an American man married to a beautiful (inside as well as outside) Philippina woman, I can vouch that Philippina women are hard working and contribute equally, if not more. I found my dream woman in a Philippina! Great article again! Many many great years ahead to you and your husband!

  7. I don’t think your knowledge of American currency and economics was enough to make a section about it in this article but okay.

  8. Good Article, Im french and I have been in a relationship and living with a filipina (wich end badly, but that another story) but I know that there is so many cliché both on philippines side and also in western side do deal with.

  9. Quote: “…this is a hangover of the American occupation.” This is a rather strange statement. I am familiar with the Japanese occupation of the Philippines from 1941 to 1945. However, I have not heard of any “American occupation” of the Philippines. Perhaps you are talking about the heroic American liberation of the Philippines.

    1. It’s not a strange statement at all if your concept of history predates WWII. You’ll be sure to find out all about the American occupation if you look back to around 1900.

      Future president Taft was tasked by T Roosevelt with quelling filipino unrest. He did so brutally and efficiently.

      Not much heroic about that one.

      1. The American occupation of the Philippines in the late 19th, early 20th century, was brutal – rape , torture, massacre. The Americans came as conquerors, not liberators. Perhaps you should read a little factual history of the period, not propaganda.

  10. Dear Kach,
    I had an awakening today about my dating life or so I say… I just typed the question on google about how I feel at the moment and found this site, it made me smile reading your journey together to a happy life as a couple. I feel like I won’t have the same fate that you Kach had found with Jon.
    I think I am just a passing for Western men around me, though I only have one whom I get to have a constant “casual” relationship with and he is a colleague of mine. Today, I found out unintentionally that he is already with somebody and he took her for a weekend with his family. I am telling myself, there will be no more flirting and other salacious words or gestures with him from now on. Not because I feel bad or hurt, but because he will be betraying his woman’s trust if we do.
    I will definitely follow this site for more of your stories together. And, will you be kind enough to share your Instagram and Facebook pages too.

  11. An 2013 I started an online friendship with a man while working and traveling to build a marketing business that failed.
    He sends me sweet emails and text me to let me know he care.
    I find him very attractive, very smart, I’m very wealthy man
    Who is well spoken my husband speaks poorly. I’ve become quite embarrassed Over the Years . I stay with him more for convenience and money than love and security.

    1. It’s a matter of perfect timing,not all black men are the same,and I’m confused if you were a male or a female,you refer yourself as a MAN,but you talk like you’re a woman,I’m really confused

  12. I truly wanted to be married to a white Foreigner. the truth is most Filipina women seek to Mary white men. the ones who marry Filipino or black men we basically settle . most Filipino men don’t want us. They marry white women, I have many regrets of marrying a black man.
    He too insecure. He too jealous.
    his life beholds too many lies
    I feel ashamed after so many years he only disappoints me more times than can you make me happy.

    1. And better communication between partners or a couple needs further efforts,keep on trying,never stop reaching out to him,everyone has it own reason why we act like this or that,try to be more understanding since both of you are married,do you get me?

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:Many of the articles on Two Monkeys Travel Group are guest posts by a number of Approved Contributors and are hosted by Two Monkeys Travel Group. Approved Contributors control their own work and post freely to our site. This includes all text and images that they use within their own work. All contributors are instructed to follow internationally recognised copyright and intellectual property guidelines. Two Monkeys Travel Group takes its own responsibilities very seriously, so if you feel that any part of this work is abusive in any way, please send us an email so that we can investigate -

DISCLOSURE: Please note that some of the links above are affiliate links. So when you make a purchase we sometimes make a small commission, at no extra cost to you. The cost to you remains the same, sometimes even cheaper if we have negotiated a special deal for our readers.We use all of the companies we have listed here and that’s why they are in this list, but of course we need to keep Two Monkeys Travel Group running as well as it can, which is exactly what you’re helping with if you do decide to buy or book something through an affiliate link! If you have any more questions about the companies we use or any other companies you’re looking at, just email us and we’ll be happy to help.Please see our full disclaimer page for more information.

Written by Kach Umandap - Howe

Co-Founder of Two Monkeys Travel Group. Since 2013, Kach has visited all the 7 continents (including Antarctica) and 143 countries using her Philippines Passport. In 2016, she got married then a year later bought a sailboat and went on sailing adventures with her two cats - Captain Ahab & Little Zissou in the Caribbean for 2 years. She now lives in Herceg Novi, Montenegro. She writes about her experiences traveling as a Filipina traveler with a PHL Passport. Also tips on backpacking trips, luxury hotel experiences, product reviews, sailing & adventure travel.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Receive tips on how you can live a sustainable long-term travel lifestyle!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Share via
Send this to a friend