Truth and Lies about Filipinas dating Foreigners!

By Kach Umandap - Howe January 8th, 2015 Posted in Inspiration and Love Stories, Travel Blog 564 Comments

Filipinas dating foreigners – The Real Life Experiences and Criticisms of a Filipina dating a Westerner

no not from a farmer
No, Jonathan didn’t buy me from a farmer!












This is also for all the Filipinas dating Foreigners instead of our Filipino men and being judged for it!

Here are the most common misconceptions that I want to clear up – We would love to hear other Filipinas’ stories so please feel free to share your experiences below!

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” ― Earl Nightingale

When I quit my job in the Middle East to start my backpacking journey, aside from the other reasons and lies I was telling myself and people around me about why I wanted to leave my corporate life, I actually left because I just wanted to have more time to understand myself, to love me and just to be with myself!

Unexpectedly, during a few days exploring Luang Prabang, Laos, I met Jonathan! If you’re traveling on your own, you’ll meet a lot of travelers – mostly European, and being a backpacker you shouldn’t expect another backpacker to take you to an expensive restaurant –  oh and he’s British btw. After a few months of just keeping in touch on facebook while I continued my solo backpacking, Jon and I decided to be officially together, and we’re now together for almost two years! I’m not lucky cuz I’m with a white man – we are BOTH lucky to have each other cuz we deserve the best!

Related Article: Are you planning to travel solo? Check out our DIY Travel Guides here and for cheap hostels around the world, check the list here.)

Note: This is based on my personal experience and life story. I’m not generalizing, and if you can relate then awesome, if not, I didn’t intend to offend any of you.

1. I’m dating a Foreigner because I need a Visa or his British passport.

Yes, there are perhaps some Filipinas dating foreigners who have this reason but not in most cases! I was already travelling on my own long before I met Jonathan (well, I met Jonathan while travelling!). Jonathan and I are both long-term travellers and us living and settling down in the UK couldn’t be further from our minds. We both want to buy land to build our very own yoga resort in the Philippines. In fact, Jon keeps asking me about how he can get a permanent resident’s visa in the Philippines. So maybe it’s actually foreign men who need the visa, not the Filipinas!

We Filipinas can also travel to any country in the world with our  Philippines passport so why would we need them if we can already get things on our own!? Ok, so they have more ‘free countries’ than us, but it balances out, because when they pay, they pay big! Also, if you travel in mostly Asian countries, having a Filipino passport has way more advantage than his, he has to pay more than me! UPDATE: We’re engaged and getting married next year! I will be getting a Long-term visa to visit UK but I’m not interested in getting a British passport or citizenship as what others are assuming because we don’t have any plans to live in the UK, as long as my future children will have dual citizenship then that’s great for us!

Even though some Filipinas might need their foreign partner’s visa or passport, it’s their life choice. Why do you care?

2. I’m dating a foreigner because I need his money.

After completing my economics degree (in UPLB), I worked in the Middle East for four years before starting this journey. I funded my South East Asia backpacking trip with my savings then when Jon and I started living together, we always shared our expenses, from food, rent and everything (that’s the British way, in Tagalog “Kanya kanyang bayad!”).

Yep, unfortunately…wait for it…white people don’t actually shit money! Trust me, I’ve checked! When I met Jon, he had empty pockets and a $300 broken down motorbike. If I was looking for a sugar daddy, I must have been blinded by that magic white skin again!

When we decided to pursue our around-the-world backpacking journey together, we both worked hard to build our initial funds! I even had five freelance jobs at the same time in Hanoi, Vietnam as we wanted to save more than ever! I taught English, yoga classes to children and even handled the Marketing Department of a western-owned company while in Vietnam, oh did I mention that I won a Vietnamese reality TV show?

He works, I work. He saves, I save. Equal partnership!

3. I’m only successful because of my foreigner partner.

No matter what success we experience, people might still think it’s because the Magic white man got us here. I want to be modest here, but straight to the point. Do you really think we Filipinas can’t be successful without the help of any man or even a foreigner? Do you realize that you’re actually insulting yourself?! Well, if you think so, shame on you!

This website was started by me, Jon wasn’t really into it, but with a little persuasion, he joined in and started writing too. Now people like his writing and that’s great! We both became yoga teachers and Ayurveda massage therapists because of my crazy idea of supporting our long term travels. All of my teaching, volunteering and freelancing jobs have been through my own research, resourcefulness, and commitment. So don’t tell me that we Filipinas dating foreigners just stay at home, waiting for our partners to feed us!

Even if someone does decide to remain at home to look after the family and home, that’s a personal choice which also involves a lot of hard work.

4. If he marries me, he will marry and support my whole family.

Well, hello! Again, it may happen in some cases, but before marrying their Filipina wife, the foreigner must already have met the family, right? So it was their choice if you still want to marry despite the condition! Unless they slipped it in the wedding vows without him noticing, ‘…to have and to hold, to pay Lola’s medical bills…wait, WHAT THE F#%!$?!’ Unlikely…

We don’t all fit the stereotype, sorry. My parents are both Professional; my younger sister is also a Dentist while my younger brother is about to finish his University degree. We are not rich, but my family lives comfortably, and we were brought up to be independent. Meaning, if you want to do something, you work for it, and you shouldn’t depend on anyone else to just give it to you!

5.  The foreigner is dating me because he needs a slave.

Aha, so being warm and hospitable and loving towards your partner means that you’re a slave? Oh, that’s great! I wonder if these people ever stop to consider that these feelings and actions are returned by the man. British and most other westerners are raised to be very independent. Most of them leave home at the age of 18 and up until then they do household chores; guys and girls! We share the cleaning in our house, but funnily Jon is better and faster at it than I am! Young western kids often have jobs when they are growing up, not because the family is poor, but to earn some of their own money and to get some real-life experience and responsibility before leaving school. Jon even leaves the Do Not Disturb sign on the hotel room door because ‘it feels weird having someone come and clean up after me!’

6. If you’re white, then you’re rich!

Huh! Not all white people are rich; this is a hangover of the American occupation. We’ve had complete independence since 1946 people, get the grip! Western countries have a range of incomes and living standards just like we do. If everyone was rich, who would clean the streets, or do menial tasks that no one else wants to do? Ahh western-style economics, making sure we always have someone poor enough to sweep the streets!

The only real difference is the higher value of their currency in the world, which just makes their own countries very expensive to live in and other countries cheaper to visit! But this only works if they earn money in one of the expensive countries.  It’s the same logic anywhere. And yes, poverty does exist in western countries, it just doesn’t the same impact in a news headline as a photo of a small brown child with flies on her face!

7. Only desperate Filipinas are dating Foreigners!

I’ve dated Filipinos before and was even in a long-term relationship with one!  It’s pretty annoying when people say that “if you can’t find a good Filipino then just look for a foreign man.”  This is also stupid; there are plenty of amazing, loving and faithful Filipino men all over the world. There are good and bad in every country; nationality has very little to do with it!

Again, maybe some Filipinas marry out of desperation, but this could happen in any country, not just in the Philippines.

On the other hand, if you told me that I was only with a  foreigner for his genes, then I might be inclined to agree. I would love our children to have Jon’s blonde hair and blue eyes, with slightly tanned Filipino skin…That might look a bit weird, to be honest, but we’ll let you know when we have some proof! We all know that most of the stars in the Philippines are half and half, perhaps we can make the next Anne Curtis, Sam Milby, and Alden Richards.

Well, I don’t know your reasons why you’re dating your foreign man, I’m dating this foreigner because I love him! Cheers to all Independent Women out there! 


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564 thoughts on “Truth and Lies about Filipinas dating Foreigners!

  1. I actually don’t need to read everything you wrote because I agree with you. Happy to share that I’ve read one of your articles earlier and I’m sure it helped me and my then-boyfriend because now we’re engaged. Yeap, I’m applying for visa to get there but that’s because we love each other. No other reason.
    🍻 kapwa iska!
    P.S. not only we, Filipinas are lucky to have them. Works both ways most of the time.

  2. Filipinas can’t get to the states easily unless they have money. My husband had an affair with a Filipina half his age. We reconciled and she refuses to take his pictures off social media and is pretending she is still with him. She expected him to send her money to pay the electric bill in the apartment they rented after he moved back to the states. She never paid a dime for food, bills, rent, etc the 5 months she leached off my husband. She quit her job within a few weeks of meeting him (moved in with him on the first day). She got an online job making okay money and sent it all back to her family. She even hinted for my husband to buy a computer for her sibling. So, my experience was that he was with a real gold digger who had no respect for the sanctity of marriage. She knew we were married and that we had 2 kids and she didn’t care. At first she said she didn’t want to come to the US then suddenly she was pressuring him for a fiancé visa, which was impossible because we were still married.

  3. First, She is an exceptional woman….not typical from philipinnes…and you cant travel all over the world with your philipinnes passport you need a visa everywhere as we dont want refugee….most decent countries requires a visa with reason. I dont know any pinays thats has ever done a back pack trip on her own….nerver seen that…. your ans exceptional pinay and therefore you opinion is not reflecting the reality… refelcts your reality which is not the people reality. Having said that I have a nice loving philipinno girlfriend that refuses my money regularly so I can confirm its not only about the ability to provide but more for our ability to carry on a good relationship. If I have an advice for foreigner……go to the province and avoid big tourist area, your more likely to find someone amazing like mine.

  4. Well guys, after all reading here, I can tell I can rely on some of the posts done by visitors. No offense to anyone, but this page seems to me a bit biased.
    Now of course if you find the real thing you will think in one direction, but we must see the bad also. Can you imagine someone being deceived for months? Guys we are talking about months of ones life here. I think I take my fill of Pinay before even met one 🙂

    BTW: Congrats for the website… it is one of the things we need in life (among many many wrong things online).

  5. You failed to mention the usual scenario. Nearly all the time the Filipina has a local boyfriend but gets involved with a foreigner so he can support them. Obviously the foreign guy doesn’t know about the local boyfriend but he only sees her a couple of weeks a year so it’s easy to fool him. Most Filipinas are liars and most foreign guys are idiots. They deserve each other!

  6. Hello,
    Well I am dating a foreigner because I like them, I like them because they know how to do household, they are independent…they tell you straight to the point.

  7. The Philippines of past and now are different. Now filipina after enjoying Filipino bf n getting few children or at least one. Look for foreign soulmate.. To support financially . Suddenly filipino country man become bad guy. I have very bad experiences recently. After more than two years of relationship, she suddenly disappeared. My gf Amy Banas from Crispo,Sara, iloilo. Only because of money. no honey. She now desperate to find white man and money.
    Dreaming went to Manila and did some modeling. Some naked photo to put in Facebook. Now landed in call girl racket in Manila. She is not beautiful but computer made her look like super model.
    How a filipina like to be super rich over night is in prostitutes business.
    I mean to say no honey in Philippines. Yes there are also very good girls I meet. Go to province to find really good girl. Not in big city,photo are fake,woman in street mostly hospitality girls to foreigner. One will be deceived. Most girls have more than one bf
    And do part time sex work. I write with my experience. I am visiting Philippines from 1976 till now when I was exchange student.

  8. This is common sense at its best and also really sweet 🙂 Far too much stereotyping going on, there are people that do stuff for the wrong reasons and people that do stuff for the right reasons, in all walks of life, as you point out so well. Sounds like an amazing future you both have planned and the fact you are both in love and chasing your dreams together is really heartwarming. I wish you both the very best future 🙂

  9. Some of your statements are untrue. Whilst many filipinas are good, a lot of them want the short cut to success by deceit. I’ve experienced the worst in the last 2 years with a deceptive filipina. Thank God i have a great 6th sense and i got to find out she was cheating on me and 4 other men too. She is one of the reasons why filipina ladies get a bad name. She is more like an escort. I wish i could name and shame her but i won’t. A warning to all foreigners … visit your long distance girl, spend a lot time with her and make sure you visit her family. The moment you see some resistance or evasiveness, get your heart out of that relationship like i did.

    1. Do you think these lying and cheating and deceitful acts are a cultural thing in the Philippines or a reflection on what westerners before you have done these things to them?

    2. I sympathize with you for having had that experience mate, but white British, African American women, Hispanic, Italian, you name it… There are women like that in every nationality, but there are also amazing, loving, caring women of the said nationalities too, it’s the individual, not their sex or ethnicity

    3. Hello,i read your message all i can say is not all filipina are the same..yes its true at this time you can just fine good/ seruise is in province part.. take care and godblesa

    4. I just did that today, she was telling me she loved me, telling me she needed milk for baby and the kid had dengue fever, then the brother in Mindanao was in hospital,, I found her fake book alter ego, and after she tried to tell me it was her sister she finally come clean once I screen shot the evidence and then after scamming me for 3 months she come clean,, she is trying to get back with her ex another gullible foreigner, but she wants to stay as a friend in my life ,,, TALAGA get rid of the liars

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Written by Kach Umandap - Howe

Co-Founder of Two Monkeys Travel Group. Since 2013, Kach has visited all the 7 continents (including Antarctica) and 143 countries using her Philippines Passport. In 2016, she got married then a year later bought a sailboat and went on sailing adventures with her two cats - Captain Ahab & Little Zissou in the Caribbean for 2 years. She now lives in Herceg Novi, Montenegro. She writes about her experiences traveling as a Filipina traveler with a PHL Passport. Also tips on backpacking trips, luxury hotel experiences, product reviews, sailing & adventure travel.

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