An open letter to Parents: Let us GO!
LET US GO! TRUST US! BELIEVE IN US!
Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, for raising me, and for teaching me to be the person I am today. I know I broke your heart when I quit my job and cast off all of your plans for me. I know you understood my words, but I don’t think you really understood their true meaning or the real reason that I left everything behind to start a life without fixed plans and limits.
Don’t think that I quit my job because of some quarter life crisis or to run away from something – I quit because I wanted to know myself better.
Don’t think that with this decision I lost all of my ambition, I have more ambition now than ever before and it’s being aimed in new and amazing directions.
Don’t think I’m just rebelling against you; I’m finding my own way through life, which is the only way that I’ll be truly happy.
Don’t think I’m insulting your hard work when you see my pictures cleaning hostels in exchange for bed and food; I’m just finally experiencing the real world and learning to be humble.
Don’t think that I’m wasting my University degree by giving up my career; I’m making better use of it than ever before, expanding my experience of the world with real life education.
Don’t think that my travelling lifestyle is all about parties; I’m not roaming the world indulging in some kind of hedonistic lifestyle! Instead, I spend every day indulging in new cultures, new experiences and new ways of living a fulfilled and happy life.
Don’t think I’ve wasted my savings to travel, I have finally discovered the best thing to invest in – REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES, because they are the only things that last forever.
Don’t think that I don’t care about my future, I have more aspirations than ever before and I’m rising to each and every one of them.
Don’t think I lost my values, especially when I disobeyed you to pursue my dreams; all of values, morals and ethics you taught me are still fully intact and every day they help me to discover new pieces of myself.
In order for me to fully immerse myself in this world of wanderlust, I ask only this – let me go, believe in me and trust me. After all, you raised me to be strong and independent, which is a big part of what led me onto this path. You may not understand everything that I’m doing and you may never agree with it, but I know that one day, you’ll be proud of me.
Your grateful and loving child, now and always.
NOTE: I’ve received a lot of emails asking about how I managed to inform my parents about my decision to travel long-term 2 years ago. To be honest, growing up in a Filipino culture, it wasn’t easy. My parents have very different stands on this and they were indeed very worried and upset with me! Well, I was 24 years old and planned to travel on my own for an unlimited amount of time (Jon wasn’t with me at that time). Who wouldn’t think that I was a little bit crazy?!
I wrote this article with my whole heart (crying while writing it!). For parents out there who love us so much that you won’t let us travel the world. TRUST US! BELIEVE IN US! After all you raised us to be independent, right?
Related Article: After almost 2 years of travelling, my mum joined me for 3 months backpacking. Here’s the full article of How my Mom made me World traveller.
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Hi there,
I was really moved by the letter you made for your mother. I am asking for an assistance of how to make a letter of me being independent and not getting controlled by my mother anymore. It is quite getting toxic since I was young until now due to authoritarian parenting.
It took a lot of toll on my mental health now as a young adult. I am currently living in Canada due to her sponsorship. Even how much I tried to gain independence and bear fruits from it, it felt as if it was not enough for her.
I hope you can help me too.
Francis
I can totally relate to this right now. Ever since my mom passed away, my father seem to make it his life’s mantra to keep us as close to him as possible. When I graduated from college 6 years ago, I told him that I would like to work abroad after gaining some experience. As expected, he strongly refused. He said that if I’ll be able to find a good-paying job here, why the need to go abroad? He just never understood that its not for the money alone. I want to go out of my shell and explore the world. I used to understand him and told myself that we’re the only family he’s got. But then sometimes you just get fed up and realize that you can do more than slaving over a corporate job that doesn’t even appreciate your efforts. I don’t want to be a corporate slave anymore. I want to know myself more. I now have a stable job as a government employee and my father was so happy when I got this post because he thought that I’ve given up my dreams of working abroad. Its what he wants but its not what I want. I blame it mostly on the generation gap. I notice that people of his generation just want a stable job and a family. Its different for us millenials. I just hope he’ll understand me when I’ll tell him that I want to travel long term. Thanks for this Ms. Kach. You are such an inspiration.
hi, I am working for 3yrs now as permanent Gov’t employee here in Philippines, . i’m dreaming of working abroad, but don’t know what to do and i’m afraid of quitting my job because it can already support my financial needs. I want to go abroad to travel and to get out of my comfort zone, and simply to be independent…any advice??? thanks, it means a lot to me. By the way, I’m your follower on FB. it inspires me every time I read your posts, hope you’ll be able to help me.
Great article! We want our daughter Alexa to follow our lifestyle, discover new places, engage in adventures, and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors. That’s why we take her with us as much as possible.
I guess, it’s really the Filipino culture that makes it hard to travel.
Thanks for this!
I mean, being a Filipina makes it harder to travel, alone.
I read this article for so many times and I can’t help but to smile that I had the same concern 3 years ago.It’s not a long travel period but going solo is something they never thought I could do (and at least they are now used to me..heheh).
But for now I’m starting to think of doing a long travel, and I might need more inspirations to fulfill my dream.
THANKS FOR THIS KACH!!
Awww this article hit me! It is hard to convince our parents especially when you are a Filipina! I understand that parents will be parents. However I remembered when I was planning to go to Europe for a 3 week holiday with a close female friend of mine, it took me lots of tears and frustration (including lots of yelling and silent treatment) just to persuade them to let me go. And I’m 23 years old at that time with a full time job (and savings!) My boss even gave me his blessing to do it! What made it harder was when my parents called up my friend’s parents to check on whether they are on the same page as our itinerary (they’ve never met each other). How embarrassing is that?!?
Nevertheless, I am proud that I survived the crazy conflict and random calls in the middle of the night while in Europe (they never think about time difference). The experience taught me that I am independent enough to make decisions, experience and enjoy different culture and basically learn to appreciate life even more!
By the way, how was your parents’ reaction when you introduced Jonathan?
Best article of all time, I love what you do !
Nipa, sorry just read this now! Thank you so much po! =)
We have a feeling that we’ll be a different kind of parent. You see, we actually encourage our girl to travel and go adventuring! Hehehe!
hahah! you guys are awesome! =)
This is beautiful! Just this morning, I told my mom that my boyfriend and I are leaving next spring to go teach english in Thailand. She was initially cool & calm, but then all her little worries started spilling out. I don’t fault her for that though! I know she just wants everything to be ok. Even though I will be 30 next month, she is still my mommy, and I still have to assuage her fears. We are both giving up a lot- good jobs, a comfortable place to live, great friends, our carefully curated collection of stuff… But we could not be more excited to start living our dreams!
Hello Rai, how’s your preparation so far? Any updates with your journey? So happy for you!
Such a courageous soul <3
Thank you so much John! How’s your travels?
That open letter hit the nail on the head and I love it. It is pretty emotional too. Having Iranian parents I kind of understand how your parents may have reacted.
Thanks Anita! Seems like our family are both conservative. How’s your travels?
Great article. I often take for granted that my parents and family have been so extremely supportive while I wander all over the world getting myself into dodgy situations and not knowing what the hell I’m doing. I’m very lucky. Kudos to you for following your heart regardless of what people say! I’m sure that deep down they are proud of you (for doing something maybe they never had the courage to) and are happy that you are following your dreams. 🙂
Thank you Alexa! I just recently traveled with my mom, hopefully my father will join me in my future adventure! Finally, he accepted this lifestyle that I have!
Great article! I often take for granted how extremely supportive my parents and family have been while I wander the world not knowing what the hell I’m doing.
You’re really lucky! =)
I relate to much with your open letter. Im currently a government employee here in Philippines now. And me too I wish there will be days where I could travel and living the dreams. Ms. Kach as I explored ur website I see that ur conducting a teach while travelling program. I want to be part of this someday. I promise to my very soul that I will someday, i just have to save some funds or budget for this. Right Ms. Kach? 🙂
Jam, forgive me if I just got back to you! We’ve been traveling non stop since April! Yes, we’ve been promoting the backpacker teacher lifestyle to start your long term travel. More details here , https://twomonkeystravelgroup.com/2015/02/teach-english-abroad-filipino-backpacker-guide/
I only hope that when my teenagers make life decisions different from my own that I can be understanding and open minded. Of course I would support a travel lifestyle, but who knows what they will choose.
Well, having a parent who loves to travel, I think your children have that wanderlust bug!
This article struck a chord with me. I also love to travel and as early as now (my son has turned 2 exactly 2 weeks ago), I am already bringing my son with me in all countries I go to in the hopes that he would also understand the beauty of traveling and being immersed in different cultures. At the same time, I am also a mom and feel your parents. Not sure how I’d feel or handle this situation had this been my son but you clearly and beautifully captured your message and I feel you too. You said you cried while writing and guess what, I also cried while reading! haha 🙂
🙁
Aww Ydal, I still cry whenever I read this! I was crying hard when I wrote it! ha!
Great article kach!I’m lucky too my parents understand me,now…haha!But yeah sometimes you just have to go out there and to do it to show them that the WORLD is SAFE and Beautiful! and it’s a mix of Ups and Downs,but the greatest thng about it is that Travelling is a Great Teacher!Coming from a Filipino Family, most of the time they don’t get it, but eventually they will and support you, not financially but just TRUSTING you is enough!Safe Travels and more Adventures for 2015!:D
Aww Erwin! Exactly my point! I super love it when you comment Erwin!! Thank you so much!!! x
Great article! I do want to do like you do only that I wanna go to events to start crossing off my bucket list..First goal with my hubby is World Cup….but i wanna run a business myself before quitting my job and it hasn’t materialized for years now. I’m bad with planning and quitting my job would raise eyebrows at home (just glad my husband supports me no matter what I will decide). Oh well, I don’t mind cleaning houses and all that stuff too either as long as I can do what I longed to do.
You’re a brave girl. Looks risky but hope I can do it myself one of these days. I think I just need time and a perfect timing..hehe..
Hello Kea, aww. I was planning to start a business too but we’ve been lazy and you’re both lucky to have each other!
Thank you for you kind words and yeah wait for the right time! =)
Like written by me 🙂 Only difference is that at least my mom understood me from the very beginning.
Hey Kaspars, my mom was fine too! She was actually worried- I had to report daily! haha
I’d rather be self-employed while going outdoors.
=)
Your best article so far, Kat. Tagos sa puso, mehn! 😉 Well, di naman maiiwasan for a parent to be worried, pero I’m sure both of them are really proud of you! :*
Sam!! Thank you for being uber supportive since beginning!! Love you!!! =)
Thank you for this! It’s really hard to put these feelings in to words…at least for me. I don’t want to hurt any feelings, but you have to right for you! Way to go for finding how to put this out there!
it took me a while before finally deciding to publish this as I wrote this in my diary weeks ago- but yeah, decided that I should share it then! Thank you for reading Jessica!
Dear Parents:
Don’t worry about your daughter she will be fine, stronger, and more successful in the future from her travel experiences. I know this because I did the same thing. I quit a great paying secure job to travel and live overseas for several years. It was the greatest experience of my life. Many people thought I was a bum and that would never work again. I am now back working in the USA. I now work with more vigor and dedication than ever before. I’m currently making some of highest salaries of my career. The job I have now is my favorite of my whole career and it’s a stepping stone to my new life.
Kach will be fine and she’ll have a great life!
You are awesome Brian!!! Thank you for sharing, I know indeed we have a lot of opportunities (during or even after ) this travelling lifestyle!
Bookmarked! I might need this someday. Haha.. Thanks…
Hahaha, and print? =)
This post is great and filled with such raw honesty!
I remember when I had to tell my parents that I’m leaving again (after being away for 3 years and only staying for one year in my home country) – the same things went through my head!
Happy travels! xx
Aww, thank you so much for reading!!! =)